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| little parting gifts for my teammates |
So I called it quits again.
Am I proud of myself? Definitely not. Am I relieved? Yes, very much so.
Ever since I started work back in end February, everything pretty much felt like a whirlwind. Most people would say that working 9am-6pm, five days a week, is normal. But strangely, I couldn't handle it. I took part in this normalcy for 6 months, but it didn't get any normal for me. My being felt foreign. I couldn't control my time, couldn't govern my mind from whirring away with thought after thought, worry after worry. Needless to say, it did not take me long to decide to lose this job before I lose myself. I was in an organisation with a great social mission, I had good teammates that I got along fine with (I think... I have to admit that I was rather reclusive), but there was just one piece that did not fit the puzzle - the work wasn't right, for me.
Before you race up to me to give me a smack on my bottom or deliver a lecture on what a big bag of lazybones I am, take the queue.. behind my dad, my mum, my grandma.. the list goes on. What I will say to everyone is. I am not lazy, I am not a pampered brat, nor have I decided not to work.
I am idealistic. I am dreamy. I am still searching.
When will my search end? I do not know. I know that it's time for me now to sit still again and watch the clouds roll by, pick up my favourite things and remember what makes me happy and centred.
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| some of my favourite things ~ I heart my stamp set. I heart my ball of twine. I heart my box of penguin postcards. |
A couple of months ago, after a hiatus of not taking photos and neglecting this dear blog, I picked up a couple of food magazines. My eyes welled up when I saw the gorgeous food photos.
Idealistic. Dreamy. Still searching.
A new chapter hey... Never be limited by other's opinions. Do read "Put Your Dream to the Test" by John C Maxwell. It will practically assist you find & achieve your dreams. Jiayou! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Paul :) Got to work hard for it..
DeleteThis was definitely a difficult decision, and one that is sometimes the better option than staying with something that makes you both emotionally and physically unhappy. I'm struggling with a similar decision, hoping to find the strength to make the right choice. Best of luck for your new adventures!
ReplyDeleteCheers,
*Heather*
Hi Heather, thanks for your message. Hope that everything works out on your end too.. Maybe you can take some time off from all the busy-ness to find yourself.... All the best to you :)
DeleteYour writing is always so lovely (yeah I used lovely) to read!
ReplyDeleteHey there! Thanks! Really appreciate you for dropping by my blog so often and leaving all these encouraging messages for me! :)
DeleteGood to have you back, dear! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, babe! looks like you're having a whale of a time in Australia!
DeleteI know just what you mean - i had something like a breakdown at my last job and things were just going wrong in all sorts of ways, but most importantly, i was miserable. It was so bad that I was even miserable on weekends coz I couldn't stop thinking about it and dreaded monday from friday morning. Anyway, I decided I didn't want my life to pass me by like that, urgently wishing every hour and day away, and I was lucky enough to have an awesome opportunity come along just at the right time. I left work and am now working for myself, doing freelance illustration and design. Goodbye unnecessary stress and misery, hello LIFE! I'm so so happy with my decision and glad it worked out - it was the biggest decision I've ever made. My advice if any would be take some time to decide and feel out what you really enjoy doing and make it work for you. Well done for not sticking to something you're not happy for the sake of conformity :)
ReplyDeleteHi Fathima, thanks for sharing. There are days when I wake up wondering if I did the right thing, and whether any good can come out of this. So, your story is a great encouragement to me. Stay passionate! :)
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